Never enough crazy!

Often, often, often I find myself dropping one liners not only out of boredom but to see reaction or create that uncomfortable feeling between two people that you can tell that hamster in their head kicked it into high gear and decided this comment needs further pondering. If you read my blog like my faithful blogtards you will understand this was developed for survival as the genetic freak in the sea of cool kids, now used for entertainment purposes.

It does take that special touch, that certain reach around to tickle the anus while they think your giving all attention to their lips. Leave them looking at you cross eyed trying to figure out.....did you just touch my ass? Its soooo much fun!!!!!

I have admit I few a few favorites that I put out there, one being when your standing next to someone pretending not to notice one another flipping through mags reporting how the famous people waste their time or drooling over the candy you know you shouldnt eat imagining the craters on your butt cheeks deepening with each delicious tid bit, I say smiling uncomfortably enthusiastic, "How about all that huh? I mean really how about it, it just blows your mind sometimes right!" The poor bastard is looking at you wondering if you are really talking to them, knowing to turn down such amazing conversation with a smile is blatantly rude however, this bitch is nuts, right?! I LOOOOVE it!! Sometimes I get the person who asks what I'm talking about however mostly its that nice gesture they want to feed but who wants to take the chance on getting sucked into that conversation with the crazy asshole that doesnt make sense to begin with. I also like to say in similar situations, "You know what, today is amazing and I wanted to make sure you're aware of that!" Again, enthusiasm can sell crazy, we've seen it from evangelicals to infomercials, it's all in presentation and if you do it with a smile it somehow makes it right.

Another is the tricky interruption liner, this can be a nasty little vermon to wrangle but once you figure it out you create the best moments of confusion ever. When two people are having a light hearted discussion just chime in with agreeance however compare it to something that has absolutely nothing to do with the topic, and walk away. I have in fact had this happen and I heard the two women laughing as they thought I was out of ear shot saying what was that about, I made them smile and think that's what that shits about. Two women in the mall were discussing arrangement of stores within the mall and how its set up to sell more and I chimed in, in passing, "For real it's like when you've had enough chinese food your about to burst and you get home and realize you didnt leave the oven on!" Then you walk away and go about your business, it works and its priceless. You can conjure up your own cranial tickles on the spot however much like douche hunting it takes the keen eye and wit to realize when it will have that effective punch with the potent stench of knowing someone in your apartment building is cooking fish but can't figure out where the hell it's coming from!

Here you bastards go, go ahead and promote crazy, it's fun and harmless!!!