Not all bars are meant to be lowered!

Ah the blessed holiday season, the time of year where it's socially acceptable to be a drunken fool for many reasons all of which in reality is not a real reason, yet we cling to it and fashion that excuse, tailor it so we can wrap it around us tightly cuddled in the warm bliss of it till you realize you've urinated on yourself the next morning. I love finding those excuses, much like children, we don't want to really explain what happened so we cover it with a slobbering self of pity and entitlement, and that's ok!!! Trust me there is not one person out there who hasn't experienced the mental heroine that makes us feel on cloud nine till we wake up to the cold reality that we could elude for as long as possible. Be it a new sex partner, that new drink we love, or the euphoric bliss of something that just absolutely stimulates just the right places in/on you and then POW, holy stupid choices batman this isn't what I expected. I'm sorry but those moments are absolutely titillating, they embody that inner desire we so desperately want to fulfill yet hold back due to social judgement or even worse, a moral effing anchor.

There are soooooo many moments in my life I have embarrassment attached to yet those are the first I share with anyone who is unfortunate enough to give me the time of day. The majority are alcohol induced mishaps that we all like to call "life's lessons." Realistically they're still embarrassing as hell and the punchline to any story battle "really? well wait till you hear what I did, or what happened to me!".

Well here's is probably the most perfect example of a skewed fantastical reality, you think your rockin, and in that weird "oh my gosh look at the horribly inebriated guy dance lets all cheer him on" kind of way you are. However, we all know when you wake up the next morning with an anvil in your skull, bruises in places you didn't realize could ever bruise, and coyote ugly laying in bed naked and snoring off your vodka induced mental coma, you take that moment to say to yourself What the..... Damn it! Your reasoning for this? Perhaps a bad break up, or your cat muffy died, or my fav you lost your job, which in itself drinking like a fish is defeating of that money situation but who cares! Hey I'm not here to judge, I've had my experiences in tequila wonderland, and I'm pretty sure theres evidence out there proving it, in fact I love when people can poke fun at those moments, embracing them before they have that opportunity to feel guilty after someone for whatever reason wants you to feel bad for it. I say NAY!

I don't condone promiscuity, although it comes with the territory and lets face it, just read two blogs ago and shut your face. Nor do I condone drunk driving, people take their damn keys and let them throw a fit, who cares, if your skilled you can take that energy and make them tear it up on a pool table or anywhere where they imagine there's music be it a slot machine or someones cell phone, oh yeah I'm a great 15 second bust a move lady! We all suffer the morning after we're awaken to writing on our faces, photos, video, lets face it, it happens! Bad decisions are a piece of natural law, and by God I take full responsibility in my part to teach others from my own mistakes. If they are like me they must discover this wonderful world themselves, no one can direct them just maybe corral it just a bit.

We all have folk in our lives whether it be ourselves or spouse or great Aunt twice removed, it's a good damn time and thank you for your dumb decisions, your prolific life awakenings through self humiliation, and lets face it, without them we wouldnt have stories to embarrass the shit out of each other with at the worst possible moment such as but not limited to: Thanksgiving, Christmas, New Years, wedding toast, and the all time greatest the day which puts emphasis on love through an epic massacre, Valentines day, otherwise known as VD remembrance day!!! You all know who you are out there and I love each and every one of you for it!!! Feel free to post embarrassing moments which I'm sure this has stirred in someone that time in their lives they just want off their chest but would never live the glory down!