Everyone has their obsessions as a friend of mine has pointed out, whether they are a long term commitment for life such as herpes or a temporary condition like love, we all have 'em!!!
I go through phases of weird obsessions, from ninjas, to ghost hunting, to the ever famous pirate phase America has clung to for, lets admit it, FAR too long. Recently I have found myself inserting fun words such as "arse" and "yer" substituting for the ever obvious snore words we use every day. Why on earth did I get stuck on a such a random thing? It started with Hooliganism!!! Yes, you read that right, my love for those dangerous crazy bastards that run around committing their allegiance to alcohol and which team is from their particular locale. Just who are the original hooligans? If you say gangs consider this a visual slap you Dobbard!!! It's far more than a group of drunken overly aggressive tyrants gathering for a good time smack down, it's a sense of pride, a sense of togetherness in the fact you all can gather and have so much hate about the same thing for absolutely nothing. I like to think this all started with the Scotts, their love of plaid woven goody exposers and the sheer capability to toss a friggin power line pole, why they deserve to get the attention they have earned!!
I like to be able to have that freedom to run around, smashed beyond every legal limit with a smile and no underwear and when confronted I can say " I'm sheerly blootered due to being Scottish" or " you can't arrest me ya goon, I'm wearin a kilt!" UGH I want that!!!!
It is true that Hollywood certainly glamorized them in many movies, but not quite the way I imagine. If I were to take charge of a production it would be an ass whoopin movie of a lifetime, old rowdy men in those sassy little frocks smacking douchebags ( see earlier blog) around as if they were that step child they regretted! The entire scenario would probably be in a tavern in some filthy hooker strewn back alley and when they hit their peak of drunken rage they run out and kick the shit out of some thug gangsta douche for harassing small children. It would be epic! Long swords, battle axes, any jobby that would knock the shit out of punks! YESSSSSS!
Ah I get so amped with just the thought of a bad ass red headed gentleman loving his woman and bashing in skulls, now that's hot! Today during my many tasks I kept thinking to myself, what would fat bastard do? It has been a quote that I have lived by since his character came out as the arrogant lard ass I so love to despise! He's disgusting in all the best ways! Feast your eyes on this horribly obese wonder Scottpot! The coined phrase, WWFBD, is highly effective to any situation. Like a true representative of alcoholic rage by creating new and most of the time greater problems you cease to acknowledge the current one, much like helping someone out with a stomach pain you stomp on their foot. Does it solve the first ailment per say? No, however you are not thinking of it anymore and that is such a great feeling to see that it may not have been as big of a deal as you first thought. You are welcome my friends!!!
I will leave you with yet another video to stream through your mind as it does mine ALL THE FRIGGEN TIME!!! I call this little nip of delight actions to live by, at all times!And if ya don't like it, you can lick my imaginary bowfin bawbag!
No comments:
Post a Comment